"Alien" Ninja Turtles Had Some Potential
Friday, May 1, 2020
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Copyrighted material that may appear on this blog is for the usage of further commentary, criticism, or teaching within the standards of "fair use" in Section 107 of the Copyright Act. All video, music, text, or images shown, all belong to their respective creators or companies. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the property of Nickelodeon.
WARNING:
Possible spoilers!
WARNING:
Possible spoilers!
 |
| Image by Museum Of Hartlepool. Source: https://www.flickr.com/ |
Michael Bay is getting a bit too much credit for this Ninja Turtles project.
Sure, he's producing it, and as a producer, he can affect the shape of these films, but that can only go so far. Especially when you consider that he's surrounded by a variety of other producers. This includes Bradley Fuller, who's elegant repertoire has given us the The Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th remakes (reboots?) (IMDb). The silver lining, though, is Ian Bryce, who produced Return of the Jedi and Field Of Dreams, but also Transformers 2 and Howard The Duck (IMDb). Yikes.
Bay isn't directing the film, either. That distinction goes to Jonathan Liebesman. His great directing credits scored terribly on Rotten Tomatoes, like Battle: Los Angeles (35%), Wrath Of The Titans (25%), and the unforgettable Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (12%). Damn. At least Michael Bay had The Rock (66%).
And Bay certainly isn't writing the screenplay. For this film, three musketeers were selected to delicately craft the script. The first is Josh Appelbaum, who wrote for the acclaimed show Alias, and the also acclaimed Mission Impossible 4 (IMDb). Nice. The second is Andre Nemec, who also wrote for Alias and Mission Impossible 4 (IMDb). Uh, double nice. Okay, so here is where the other shoe drops. The third is Evan Daugherty, who wrote for Snow White and the Huntsman and that Hunger Games look-a-like Divergent (IMDb). Both are adaptations like this film. Maybe he'll do a good job.
All of these factors will certainly make the film an interesting one to watch, but if it goes wrong, all of the blame should not fall on Bay. It would be like blaming Spielberg for the failures of Transformers 3 and The Legend Of Zorro (IMDb). Yes, he did actually invest time into producing those films.
"Needless to say, the fans are not too pleased with Bay for changing the origins of the beloved "Ninja Turtles."
"So will they be changing the title?," asked one Reddit user. "I mean, 'TMNT' doesn't really apply anymore ... Maybe they could be Teenage Alien Interstellar Ninja Turtles?"
However, another Reddit user pointed out that if the Turtles were in fact aliens -- and not nuchuck-wielding ninjas -- perhaps they would have developed more sophisticated weaponry:
"If they're aliens then why would they be ninjas!?!? They would have laser guns and lightsabers and junk! They wouldn't need to be ninjas! Michael Bay is the destroyer of worlds!"
Even Michaelangelo voice actor Robbie Rist had some, uh, constructive words for Bay on his open letter on Facebook,
"Dear Michael Bay.
You probably don't know me but I did some voice work on the first set of movies that you are starting to talk about sodomizing.
Look man, I think you have some pretty nifty action ideas (of course on the other side, the minute ANYONE in your movies starts using actual dialog I seem to catch myself nodding off), but seriously, Teenage ALIEN Ninja Turtles?
I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet?
You know that ninjas are a certain kind of cultural charact....
Oh what the hell am I talking to you for?
The rape of our childhood memories continues....."
His words seem a bit harsh to me (I liked what he had to say about Bay's dialog, though), but I can't help but think that his anger describes a lot of the sentiment that fans initially had at this film. To Robbie's credit, however, he later told TMZ that, "Everything I have said here could be off base and wrong ... He has made WAY more money at this than I have."
Look man, I think you have some pretty nifty action ideas (of course on the other side, the minute ANYONE in your movies starts using actual dialog I seem to catch myself nodding off), but seriously, Teenage ALIEN Ninja Turtles?
I know believing in mutated talking turtles is kinda silly to begin with but am I supposed to be led to believe there are ninjas from another planet?
You know that ninjas are a certain kind of cultural charact....
Oh what the hell am I talking to you for?
The rape of our childhood memories continues....."
His words seem a bit harsh to me (I liked what he had to say about Bay's dialog, though), but I can't help but think that his anger describes a lot of the sentiment that fans initially had at this film. To Robbie's credit, however, he later told TMZ that, "Everything I have said here could be off base and wrong ... He has made WAY more money at this than I have."
First of all, we now know that the whole "aliens" idea was a bunch of bunk, as Micheal Bay later confirmed to Moviefone, "There was that quote saying that we were making (the Ninja Turtles as) aliens. We're not! It's the ooze!" Second, even if they were aliens, we don't know if Bay had even developed the idea. It could have been from the writers, the director, or any of the other producers. He certainly approved it, which makes him culpable, but that doesn't make him the source. Third, I would hardly call Michael Bay the "destroyer of worlds" for doing such a move (he's destroyed a lot of buildings, though). Or even a raper of childhoods (if such a thing is even possible). Bay simply wanted to take the series in a different paradigm, and frankly, it could have done some neat things. Before all of that, though, let's get one thing out of the way. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are really kind of silly.
Really, though. Think about the whole premise of this franchise.
Ordinary turtles become mutated into anthropomorphic creatures by a radioactive ooze and are taught to become ninjas by anthropomorphic rat called Splinter in the sewers of New York City. The turtles, now teenagers, are named after Renaissance painters, eat pizza, fight a samurai named Shredder, and rescue reporters in yellow jumpsuits.
Original, yes, but very laughable. In fact, TMNT creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird joked about conceiving the idea in The Week, "We were just pissing our pants that night, to be honest. 'This is the dumbest thing ever.'" (Farago).
I haven't read the comics, so I can't speak for them, but they sounded pretty gritty. Nor have I seen the 1980's cartoon that helped propel the turtles into the mainstream. I tried watching two episodes a while ago, and I was a bit bored by it. The turtles also looked a bit too cutesy for me. Sorry Gen X. I've seen the1990 film, which, as a straight up Ninja Turtles movie, was actually very entertaining. You really can't fault the movie for giving audiences at the time exactly what they wanted: the four pizza loving turtles fighting crime. That said, the Jim Henson Creature Shop did a good job of designing the costumes, the action scenes are well paced and impressive considering the heavy suits, and the editing and cinematography have a stylized MTV look. This shouldn't be too surprising, since the film was directed by Steve Barron, who also directed the music video for Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" and A-ha's "Take On Me" (IMDb). The second and third films, I hear, weren't much better, although the second film had Vanilla Ice, and who wouldn't love that?
The turtles I grew up on were from the late 90's series The Next Mutation. It was a live action show that featured the turtles in uglier costumes than were used in the movies, along with a female turtle named Venus and a crossover episode with Power Rangers In Space. That 80's cartoon looked a lot better by comparison. The turtles did, in my opinion, hit a high note with the 2003 cartoon which had some stylish animation and enjoyable writing. This led to the 2007 film which was kind of dull and confusing, but had a cool fight between Raphael and Leonardo. There's a new TMNT show on Nickelodeon, but I'd rather watch Legend of Korra instead.
The reason why I've reiterated so much turtles history is to show that this series have been reworked again, again, and again. Now in spite of whichever TMNT incarnation you happen to prefer, it is clear that all of these stories always return to square one. Four feature films, three cartoons, a crossover with the Power Rangers and the tale still starts in the sewers of New York City. It's almost like an infinite time loop. Aren't fans tired of this set-up? Would it be so radical to demand a slightly different background? Are we so hopelessly blinded by our nostalgia that the most infinitesimally small divergence from the established canon is an act of heresy?
Come on, guys.Would a little openness with the franchise be so hard? When it came to rebooting this franchise, the production team could have gone one of two ways. They could reboot it as an animated film aimed at a younger demographic, or go for the gritty Nolanesque reboot that would appeal to older teenagers. Making an animated film would be redundant, since we just had an animated film and we already have a new cartoon on TV. So, gritty reboot it is.
When one does a gritty reboot, a certain sense of realism is to be expected. As with the Nolan-Batman films. This doesn't work when you have too much absurdity to overplay the grittiness. Take the implausible tornado sequence from Man of Steel or the horrific "Deep Wang" moments from Transformers 3. Both films featured extraordinary scenarios with aliens. In one, aliens can disguise themselves as cars, and in the other, they can fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes. Both films asked us to take them seriously, Man of Steel much more so, but Transformers 3 also had the destruction of a city, which, I would hope, demands a degree of realism. (By the way, the Autobots were far more negligent about civilian casualties than Superman supposedly was). So while the new TMNT may not be as violent as Man of Steel or as idiotic as Transformers 3, it will have to balance its extraordinary premise with the realism of a live action movie.
Here's where the aliens come in.
Now if the turtles were simply aliens, it would do away with a lot of wasteful exposition dealing with the turtle's origins. Considering that we have yet to see any real aliens, though they may certainly exist, the concept of anthropomorphic turtles does not seem quite as absurd by comparison. We know, scientifically, that even the most extreme of mutations would not produce a love of pizza and surfer lingo in turtles, but we don't know anything about aliens. So anything's up for grabs. Again, an alien origin would better fit the demands of realism that many viewers are used to in a live action film. So why does this idea have potential? I'll tell you why, because it won't be set in NYC. No, it would be set on the turtle's alien planet.
You see, a terrible thing in writing a plot is limitations. This is why prequels are so hard to do without a retcon, the blatant rewriting of previously established canon. If you don't know what I'm talking about, think Zeist from Highlander 2. A prequel can only get so far before running into an established plot point. So freeing up the premise as much as possible to allow for more movement with characters and such is a must. This is the trouble that comes with adaptations. The filmmakers have to balance between honoring the source material and creating their own movie. The problem with the the latter Harry Potter films is that they became too much of a supplement to the books as opposed to being independent works. You see this problem even reverberate in reboots, where the new films didn't differ enough from the originals. Compare, for example, 2012's Spider-Man with 2002's.
Setting TMNT on an alien planet would offer so many possibilities. Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang, and Usagi Yojimbo could all pop in at any time without any real need for prior explanation. We would simply assume aliens on an alien planet. Anything goes. The planet doesn't have to be futuristic either. Why should it be? The turtles are ninjas aren't they? So why not create a world where those ninja skills and weaponry would hold the advantage? How about a planet based off of feudal Japan, or even a Pandora-like environment? It could bring the turtles to a level they've simply never been at before. Does this mean that Shredder, Karai, April, and Casey can still be humans in an alien planet? Of course. Its an alien planet remember? Anything goes.
Just think of all the conventions this film could avoid simply by being set on its own planet. No need to hide their identities in public, no need to appeal to the police or military of not being a danger, no need to worry about how humans should react upon seeing them, and if you do go futuristic, no need to explain how you acquired said technology in the modern age. Best of all, not having to set another summer blockbuster in New York City.
That's some potential with the turtles as aliens, but I doubt if it would ever have been exploited. In fact, I doubt the turtles were ever in any real danger of being radically changed. If there's one thing Hollywood loves, it's formulas. One such formula is to be familiar. People tend to lean towards what they already know. Alien Turtles would be far too alienating (no pun intended) for today's profitable demographics and no doubt divide, if not scare off the entire fanbase. The turtles have spent too much time in our cultural consciousness to be so utterly transformed. Yeah, they're bigger and a bit more slimy, but honestly, how much have they really changed. As far as I can infer from the trailers, they still live in the sewers of New York, but we'll have to wait for the film's release to really find out.
When one does a gritty reboot, a certain sense of realism is to be expected. As with the Nolan-Batman films. This doesn't work when you have too much absurdity to overplay the grittiness. Take the implausible tornado sequence from Man of Steel or the horrific "Deep Wang" moments from Transformers 3. Both films featured extraordinary scenarios with aliens. In one, aliens can disguise themselves as cars, and in the other, they can fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes. Both films asked us to take them seriously, Man of Steel much more so, but Transformers 3 also had the destruction of a city, which, I would hope, demands a degree of realism. (By the way, the Autobots were far more negligent about civilian casualties than Superman supposedly was). So while the new TMNT may not be as violent as Man of Steel or as idiotic as Transformers 3, it will have to balance its extraordinary premise with the realism of a live action movie.
Here's where the aliens come in.
Now if the turtles were simply aliens, it would do away with a lot of wasteful exposition dealing with the turtle's origins. Considering that we have yet to see any real aliens, though they may certainly exist, the concept of anthropomorphic turtles does not seem quite as absurd by comparison. We know, scientifically, that even the most extreme of mutations would not produce a love of pizza and surfer lingo in turtles, but we don't know anything about aliens. So anything's up for grabs. Again, an alien origin would better fit the demands of realism that many viewers are used to in a live action film. So why does this idea have potential? I'll tell you why, because it won't be set in NYC. No, it would be set on the turtle's alien planet.
You see, a terrible thing in writing a plot is limitations. This is why prequels are so hard to do without a retcon, the blatant rewriting of previously established canon. If you don't know what I'm talking about, think Zeist from Highlander 2. A prequel can only get so far before running into an established plot point. So freeing up the premise as much as possible to allow for more movement with characters and such is a must. This is the trouble that comes with adaptations. The filmmakers have to balance between honoring the source material and creating their own movie. The problem with the the latter Harry Potter films is that they became too much of a supplement to the books as opposed to being independent works. You see this problem even reverberate in reboots, where the new films didn't differ enough from the originals. Compare, for example, 2012's Spider-Man with 2002's.
Setting TMNT on an alien planet would offer so many possibilities. Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang, and Usagi Yojimbo could all pop in at any time without any real need for prior explanation. We would simply assume aliens on an alien planet. Anything goes. The planet doesn't have to be futuristic either. Why should it be? The turtles are ninjas aren't they? So why not create a world where those ninja skills and weaponry would hold the advantage? How about a planet based off of feudal Japan, or even a Pandora-like environment? It could bring the turtles to a level they've simply never been at before. Does this mean that Shredder, Karai, April, and Casey can still be humans in an alien planet? Of course. Its an alien planet remember? Anything goes.
Just think of all the conventions this film could avoid simply by being set on its own planet. No need to hide their identities in public, no need to appeal to the police or military of not being a danger, no need to worry about how humans should react upon seeing them, and if you do go futuristic, no need to explain how you acquired said technology in the modern age. Best of all, not having to set another summer blockbuster in New York City.
That's some potential with the turtles as aliens, but I doubt if it would ever have been exploited. In fact, I doubt the turtles were ever in any real danger of being radically changed. If there's one thing Hollywood loves, it's formulas. One such formula is to be familiar. People tend to lean towards what they already know. Alien Turtles would be far too alienating (no pun intended) for today's profitable demographics and no doubt divide, if not scare off the entire fanbase. The turtles have spent too much time in our cultural consciousness to be so utterly transformed. Yeah, they're bigger and a bit more slimy, but honestly, how much have they really changed. As far as I can infer from the trailers, they still live in the sewers of New York, but we'll have to wait for the film's release to really find out.
Well, however bad this new TMNT may be, at least the Turtles won't be interviewed by Oprah again.
Bibliography
"Andre Nemec." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625858/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Bay, Michael. "Michael Bay, 'Pain & Gain' Director, on 'Transformers 4' and the New 'Ninja Turtles' Movie." Interview by Billy Donnely. Moviefone. April 26, 2013. Web. http://news.moviefone.com/2013/04/26/michael-bay-pain-and-gain-interview/
Bell, Crystal. "Michael Bay: Ninja Turtles Movie Will Make 'TMNT' Aliens, Fans Cry Foul." The Huffington Post. March 19, 2012. Web. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/19/michael-bay-ninja-turtles-movie-aliens_n_1364828.html
"Bradley Fuller." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0298181/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
"Evan Daugherty." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2489193/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Farago, Andrew. "The fascinating origin story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." The Week. June 10, 2014. Web. http://theweek.com/article/index/262738/the-fascinating-origin-story-of-the-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles
"Ian Bryce." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0117290/
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"Michael Bay." Rotten Tomatoes. Web. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/162652380/?search=michae;%20bay
Rist, Robbie. Facebook. March 19, 2012. Web. https://www.facebook.com/robbie.rist/posts/10150753394410645
"Steve Barron." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006625/
"Steven Spielberg." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000229/?ref_=nv_sr_3
TMZ Staff. "Ex-Ninja Turtles Actor--Michael Bay is 'Sodomizing' the TMNT Legacy." TMZ. March 20, 2012. Web. http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/20/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-michael-bay-michaelangelo-sodomizing/#ixzz38cJnSWlu
Bibliography
"Andre Nemec." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625858/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Bay, Michael. "Michael Bay, 'Pain & Gain' Director, on 'Transformers 4' and the New 'Ninja Turtles' Movie." Interview by Billy Donnely. Moviefone. April 26, 2013. Web. http://news.moviefone.com/2013/04/26/michael-bay-pain-and-gain-interview/
Bell, Crystal. "Michael Bay: Ninja Turtles Movie Will Make 'TMNT' Aliens, Fans Cry Foul." The Huffington Post. March 19, 2012. Web. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/19/michael-bay-ninja-turtles-movie-aliens_n_1364828.html
"Bradley Fuller." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0298181/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
"Evan Daugherty." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2489193/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Farago, Andrew. "The fascinating origin story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." The Week. June 10, 2014. Web. http://theweek.com/article/index/262738/the-fascinating-origin-story-of-the-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles
"Ian Bryce." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0117290/
"Jonathan Liebesman." Rotten Tomatoes. Web. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/162674974/?search=jonathan%20li
"Josh Appelbaum." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0032227/?ref_=nv_sr_1
"Michael Bay." Rotten Tomatoes. Web. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/162652380/?search=michae;%20bay
Rist, Robbie. Facebook. March 19, 2012. Web. https://www.facebook.com/robbie.rist/posts/10150753394410645
"Steve Barron." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006625/
"Steven Spielberg." IMDb. Web. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000229/?ref_=nv_sr_3
TMZ Staff. "Ex-Ninja Turtles Actor--Michael Bay is 'Sodomizing' the TMNT Legacy." TMZ. March 20, 2012. Web. http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/20/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-michael-bay-michaelangelo-sodomizing/#ixzz38cJnSWlu
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